More than a decade ago my body suddenly started to betray me with strange, unaccountable symptoms. I was erroneously diagnosed with a medical condition and, after several years of enduring medical practitioners’ desire to give me a label of a “known” condition, I decided to search out individuals with more out-of-the-box thinking. Through this saga, I began to discern those who had real wisdom to impart from those who “stuck to the book.”
This experience steered me to apply my research background in studying wisdom. Little did I know that my findings would be my salvation after my family and I lost our home in the Palisades fire.
From my preliminary investigation of wisdom, the only information I could uncover was either subjective or anecdotal. So, to scientifically define wisdom, I began speaking to people who had been recommended as “wise” by others who knew them.
In this way, I embarked on my Wisdom Research Project, interviewing 60 wise adults who spanned across industries, cultures, and socio-economic groups. One of the 60 was a librarian, one was a concentration camp survivor, another was CEO of five companies, and another was a widow two times over.
My findings proved fascinating. Unlike society’s view of a wise person, which often had to do with accomplishment or wealth, I found that wisdom was a state of being—a mindset. From my interviews, my team and I distilled eight elements that comprise wisdom:
- Resilience
- Kindness
- Positivity
- Spirituality
- Humility
- Tolerance
- Creativity
- Curiosity
What’s more, these are qualities that each of us can master to lead more meaningful lives.
Many of the wise people interviewed had experienced great hardship, yet they retained a sense of positivity. Now that the Palisades fire had left me and my family uprooted, I’m trying to draw from their examples. I know I must be resilient and positive. My interviewees had overcome greater obstacles, yet they weren’t bitter or angry—they were at peace.
As I face the loss of my home and community, I keep reminding myself that things work out and that every occurrence in life happens for me, and not to me. How this will manifest I still don’t know. But I do know that the elements I found in my study are helping me better handle this great tragedy.
Here are a few examples of how the elements that form the mindset of wisdom are keeping me grounded:
- Staying curious – Despite all our focus on the many to-dos amid our uncertainty, curiosity fuels our hope and optimism. Being curious about the future takes me out of doing and puts me into a state of being, even if it’s just for a minute. Curiosity enables me to take an interest in things outside my circumstances and seek to learn about new possibilities.
- Maintaining positivity – While it would be easy to give in to anxiety and despair, I’ve maintained a sense of optimism and hope. Being positive not only feels better, it helps propel us forward when we must overcome any of life’s challenges. It’s also habit forming. Even as I faced devastation, I kept thinking how lucky I’d been to have lived in our home for 18 years. Being positive helps to build resilience.
- Relying on spirituality – We’re confronted so much by the unknown. My kids don’t know what will happen with their education. We don’t know where we will relocate. I don’t know how I will manage given my physical limitations. There’s much to be anxious about. What keeps me going is living in faith and not in fear. I have to believe that it will work out. I don’t know how, but I am convinced that it will.
